Late night ramblings of a mended broken heart

I've always been sort of melancholy. Sometimes I almost think sadness is somewhat comforting to me. I remember, as a child, lying in bed, thinking of the saddest things possible, crying myself to sleep. On occasion, I still find myself doing the very same thing. Why? I dunno.

Tonight, I was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep. I was trying to remember a date or a particular time frame. I can't even remember why now. Then, all of a sudden, I was thinking about it. About that horrible time in my life. The terrible time when I was sure my heart was broken beyond repair. I think of it every now and then. Usually some random thought causes my mind to drift back to it. If I dwell on it long enough, I can make myself feel exactly the same way I did then. Like this cold, empty darkness is crushing my heart. If you've never felt this way about something, it probably makes no sense to you, however, I have a strong notion that if you have ever felt this way, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

I started to think about it. Then just as suddenly as the thoughts had crept back in, I flashed forward to now. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. "Thank you Lord, for taking that pain and turning it into this wonderful peace. I know it was You. I didn't do it. If I could have changed things myself I would have, but I was totally helpless. Somehow, miraculously, you fixed it. You knew the desires of my heart, and you gave them to me beyond what I could have ever imagined."

As I am lying there, tears streaming down my face, thanking God for how He had changed things. David squeezes my hand, and asked me if I'm okay. "I'm great" I whisper. Then he says, "I had a dream you were crying". "You had I dream I was crying?", I asked surprised. "Well, not a dream, but I had a vision of you crying". Then he drifted back off to sleep.

With a heart full of happiness and a face stained with tears I wish you all a goodnight. Maybe know that I have these thoughts out of my head I'll be able to fall asleep. Sweet dreams.