I know I'm skinny, but I don't have an eating disorder! :)

This post is what I wrote to a FRIEND :) when they expressed concern about my health, and for everyone else who has thought it or worried about it. For those of you who are genuinely worried about me because you care, thank you!

I really, genuinely appreciate your concern. You're not the first person to express concern, and I'm pretty certain you won't be the last. I wish I had words to ease people's minds, but I'm sure there are plenty of girls who actually have a problem that know the right things to say. I am skinny. I am an extremely small person. I have abnormally small bone structure, and my weight goes to my hip, thighs, butt, but not my upper body. I myself, was concerned when I first started trying to maintain and was continuing to lose weight, to a point where I was scared it was unhealthy. I talked to my husband, who is a nurse, and he suggested I up my calories to 1600 ( I was at 1400 which mfp had recommended for maintenance), and since then my weight has stabilized. I'm not sure if from your perspective, I seem obsessive, since I log in every day. That is my way to keep up with things. There are plenty of days where I go over my calories, but I just like to know. I don't want to yo-yo, and I don't want to gradually keep putting on weight. When my sister said she thought I was too thin, I asked her why people say that. I've always been small, even at my heaviest, but sometimes I get "too thin" and I really wanted to understand why. Everything she said, I can agree with. I can honestly say that I probably would look more aesthetically pleasing to the eye if I had about 5 more lbs on me, but the trade-off for people thinking I look good isn't enough for me to want to change how I feel. I've been this skinny before, even skinnier. The only difference is that I'm actually healthy now. I'm eating good food and I'm exercising, and I feel so good.This comes at such a weird time, because just last night, my father-in-law called my husband to say that he was concerned I have an eating disorder. He wants me to have blood work done next time we visit, at his clinic (he's a physician). As humiliating as it is, I'm going to have the blood work done, and hopefully put everyone's fears to rest. My husband says the test is pretty definitive, so it will be hard to argue with the results, from a scientific standpoint.I asked my husband what he thought about all of this. He said he didn't think there was a formula that was right for everyone. Yes, I'm skinny, but I am healthy. I just happen to be skinnier than most people when I'm healthy. He said he could see how people might think I'm too skinny. They don't see me with my clothes off. They don't know that you can't see my ribs. They haven't taken calipers and pinched my skin. I KNOW I don't want to lose any more weight. My fitness instructor is trying to sell these supplements. I've already tried some of them to help me build more muscle. Now she's trying to get me to try more products. She was talking to me about the cleanse, and how much weight other people have lost doing it. She said I wouldn't lose that much, but I'd probably lose 5 lbs. I thought she must be crazy, because I clearly don't have 5 lbs to lose! When I told my mom about it, she was furious!!

Anywho, I feel like I've unloaded a bunch of stuff on you, and I'm sorry. Like I said, with everything else that's been said about it, it's just a really weird time. It's upsetting and frustrating to be trying to do good for myself and be healthy, and have so many people speculate that it's an eating disorder. But I am thankful that I have people in my life (including you), who care enough to worry, and who are concerned enough to actually say something to me, as painful as it is for me. So thank you. I hope that I've have put your mind at ease a little. I'm not sure when we're going to visit. I'm ready to go and get this over with, so maybe I can put this behind me. But I will let you know once we've had the test and get the results.

Take care

Photographic proof that I've been this skinny before! ;)